Mainers like to pretend they’re a hearty bunch. We laugh when other people complain about their own winters because we want you to think we’re not phased by things like cold weather. Snow? We can take it! Ice? No problem! But, sadly, the reality is that we hate it. Mainers suffer through the winter because we have to, not because we like it. In fact, being in Vacationland is pretty much awful. Don’t believe us? Here are just a few reasons why visiting Maine in the winter is the worst decision you can make.
- It’s just so ugly!
pavdw / Flickr Barren and boring are two goods words used to describe Maine on days like this.
- And, it’s grey and colorless.
coreytempleton / Flickr It’s as if someone came in and turned everything into black and white. It’s a real bummer.
- Even the cities shut down.
coreytempleton / Flickr Portland definitely doesn’t put up gorgeous tree lights and it’s not atmospheric at all.
- The roads are far too dangerous and always covered in snow.
notonyournelly / Flickr They’re never plowed, which makes it impossible to get around once the snow falls.
- Cars just don’t drive in this kind of cold and without them, there’s no other way to get around.
mdmarkus66 / Flickr You could try to walk, but you’d probably just freeze.
- There’s no way to get around.
coreytempleton / Flickr It’s best to just stay inside.
- Really, there’s NO other method.
smilla4 / Flickr Hope you can find a comfortable chair inside.
- And, there’s absolutely nothing to do.
chiotsrun / Flickr At least out west you can ski, but here in Maine. No winter outdoor activities. None.
- Mainers are really boring in the winter.
g_w_y_n / Flickr Mainers walk around sad from October to May. No smiles. Send help.
- The sun never comes out.
jackflanagan / Flickr Skies are grey and it’s almost always dark outside.
- There’s nothing worth seeing at the beach.
paul_noble_images / Flickr Definitely don’t bring a camera.
- Did we mention how ugly it is?
chiotsrun / Flickr Plain and simple.
- It’s really hard to keep kids entertained.
laneg / Flickr You have to keep them inside all winter, which makes them bored and cranky.
- Everyone takes themselves so seriously in the winter.
erikorama / Flickr
- …It’s just too cold to be funny around here.
erikorama / Flickr
- Once everything freezes over, there’s nothing to do out there.
bobtravis / Flickr Mainers have no imagination either, so it’s not like we can find fun things to do on the ice.
- There aren’t any community events going on - not until we thaw.
ricoslounge / Flickr Enjoy Halloween because that will be the last time you do anything.
- You can’t get any exercise when everything is covered in snow.
mainerunningphotos / Flickr Nope. Never go outside.
- So, unless you want to be surrounded by dark, cloudy skies and a general sense of sadness - just stay home.
smilla4 / Flickr
So, take our advice. Skip it. Stay home. Don’t bother with us up here in Maine. We’ll handle things here on our own.
pavdw / Flickr
Barren and boring are two goods words used to describe Maine on days like this.
coreytempleton / Flickr
It’s as if someone came in and turned everything into black and white. It’s a real bummer.
Portland definitely doesn’t put up gorgeous tree lights and it’s not atmospheric at all.
notonyournelly / Flickr
They’re never plowed, which makes it impossible to get around once the snow falls.
mdmarkus66 / Flickr
You could try to walk, but you’d probably just freeze.
It’s best to just stay inside.
smilla4 / Flickr
Hope you can find a comfortable chair inside.
chiotsrun / Flickr
At least out west you can ski, but here in Maine. No winter outdoor activities. None.
g_w_y_n / Flickr
Mainers walk around sad from October to May. No smiles. Send help.
jackflanagan / Flickr
Skies are grey and it’s almost always dark outside.
paul_noble_images / Flickr
Definitely don’t bring a camera.
Plain and simple.
laneg / Flickr
You have to keep them inside all winter, which makes them bored and cranky.
erikorama / Flickr
bobtravis / Flickr
Mainers have no imagination either, so it’s not like we can find fun things to do on the ice.
ricoslounge / Flickr
Enjoy Halloween because that will be the last time you do anything.
mainerunningphotos / Flickr
Nope. Never go outside.
If you’re not from Maine, but happen to fall in love with someone there’s a good chance you’ll end up visiting in the winter. We can’t give you any advice for how to handle that (like we said, it’s terrible) but click here are some other things you should know about dating a Mainer.
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